It is the 4th January 2011, the 1st day for a lot of people to go back to work after the Christmas festivities.
I packed in my job just before Christmas, a decision I made way back in January 2010, except it was supposed to happen back then, but with one thing and another I carried on with the job. Actually I'm glad I did carry on, even though the work was at times mundane and it made my back ache I enjoyed the company I worked with and I think I'm going to miss them :(
The house is in a mess as per usual, and I am wondering where to start, isn't it always the starting that is the most difficult, (big sigh)!
I said to myself that 2011 is going to be my year and I have been full of positive thoughts and energy, unfortunatley that has dwindled a bit, mostly due to the dull grey days we have been having for the past week, overeating, not sleeping my usual hours and having a barny with Richard last night! I don't like arguments and do everything I can to avoid them, ie backing down even if I think I am right, but sometimes people go just that bit too far and it causes hurt.
I'm sure it is just a minor non communication on both our parts and we are both to blame, but neither of us want to back down and are now silently sulking like silly children, well I'm not giving in this time, I'm not!
My nature is actually a very positive one and I think myself lucky that I have the ability to look at the good side of life, the glass half full type of thing, you know what I mean. I don't like being around negative people and even if I try and persuade them about the good things in life I often give up on them, you are either a negative or a positive and I really don't want dragging down by a negative which they are very good at doing!
I am going to be getting on with my art projects this year, make a huge effort to get them done. I have so many in my head and on the go, I do wonder if all artists are like this, Im sure they must be. I am going to finish my banner for George's birthday, make my Anthony Gormley style art project, I will let you in on that one at a later date!
I have my land art workshops to promote, I am really excited about doing these, but at the same time very nervous, I have never been one for promoting myself, my parents always let me believe that it is wrong to be boastful about your achievments, I have decided they were wrong to let me think that, if you are confident in your abilities then you can do anything! That is what I am going to tell myself everyday, you can do anything!!
I have now talked myself into a positive mood and I am going to get on with it, yes get on with it, everything I want to achieve I am going to achieve and with gusto, let me out there.
I decided to have a bath at 4.45pm in the afternoon, a luxury isn't it, I don't have a bath on a regular basis, sticking to having showers because it's obviously more economical and quicker, but sometimes a bath is nice to have, I put in a fizz ball that my son's girlfriend had given a couple of Christmases ago. I have been working my way through my beauty/bath products the past few weeks that I have had in a draw for quite a while. I like to keep things for when I might really need them, but that is silly, why not use them when you want to, not when you need to!
As I lay in the bath I looked at my tree trunk legs and (big sigh) thought I must start my healthy eating and exercise routine, I am coming up to 50 in a few weeks time, (big sigh) and feel I must do something about my health and how I look, both contributing at times like most people to how I feel.
I did buy some black trousers before Christmas and planned on wearing them on Christmas day with a bright top, I didn't try them on in M&S as it was really busy so I took them home deciding they would probably fit me. Actually they were too big, and a size 16 too, actually they were too long, a medium length, I must be a short dumpy size 16! :( But not for long, I am going to be a short size ( ) will let you know that one in a few months
Best get the dinner on, salmon cutlets and veg tonight, I really know how to push the boat out! Back soon! J x
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